Just like people can become depressed over the loss of someone they love, the economy or a real estate financial crisis, so too can a marriage suffer from depression.
Depression in marriage, however, does not mean that it is over. Rather, it is a low period in a series of highs and lows which occur in every marriage. Here are some signs of a depressed marriage:
- Difficulty making even minor decisions let alone major decisions without an argument.
- Intimacy such as hand-holding, sitting close together or kissing becomes more routine (if it exists at all) rather than hear felt.
- Lack of desire to spend any time together; prefer to spend free time alone.
- One or both has already spoken of getting a divorce or separating.
- The excitement in the marriage is completely gone; don’t look forward to seeing or hearing from each other.
- The conversation is limited to the bare essentials of scheduling, managing the house and checking in. No longer are their conversations about the things of which each feels passionate.
- Intentionally avoiding spouse and notice the spouse is also avoiding.
- Fantasies of other partners, what would happen if a spouse passes away or the peace that could come from separating begins to consume thoughts.
- Finding reasons not to spend the night in bed, not going to bed at the same time or put physical boundaries such as pillows between both parties.
- No sex or interest in sex.
Experience of five or more items may indicate a depressing marriage. This time it would be beneficial for a couple to seek counseling to prevent a potential separation or divorce.