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13 thoughts on “The Addicted Narcissist

  • June 29, 2015 at 4:49 pm
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    I agree with many points in this article. However, the notion that ALL treatments for substance use disorder require the person to label themselves as an “addict” or “problematic user” is false. In fact, Motivational Interviewing (MI) discourages any kind of labeling, focusing instead on connecting with the person, being on their side, and finding their own motivations to change unhealthy behaviors. MI is nice with this personality type because you don’t have to get anyone to accept a label, you don’t have to present yourself as the expert on the person sitting across from you (which you aren’t), and THEIR ideas are given the most weight. Really, all of these things are true of a program that is truly committed to the Recovery Model (http://www.facesandvoicesofrecovery.org/sites/default/files/RBOR_legal.pdf).

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  • July 1, 2015 at 2:04 am
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    My narcissist told me to my face that my disability (I walk with a cane much of the time, and, at the time I was married to this narc, suffered seizures I later learned were caused by PTSD that he was aggravating) was so stressful to deal with — for him — that he HAD to drink basically 24/7, including having a beer open when he was “working” from home. He had, at the time, a very Tom Cruise attitude toward psychology and psychotherapy, so seeing one of those to deal with MY disability was out of the question for him. It also wasn’t something that was going away (it took five years after I left him for the seizures to stop, and my spinal disorder is permanent and inoperable), so I knew I mustn’t expect the poor baby to stop drinking, either. Never mind the stress that his cancer had caused me several years prior. Never mind that his cancer didn’t cause me to become addicted to anything. My disability, to him, was something I was supposed to believe was more stressful for him to cope with than his own cancer! (Why no, no, he never did seek support or therapy for that, either.)

    I have heard of projection and blaming tactics in other cases of addicted narcissists, but is it usual for the blame to focus on an aspect of the victim’s person, their body, that was so completely outside of their control? It’s about as logical as “I have to drink because you have brown eyes,” but I’ve not heard from other disabled partners of addicted narcissists. Have you heard of anything like this?

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    • July 1, 2015 at 6:57 am
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      Sadly yes. You are not alone in this struggle and I’m thankful that you are away from it. Keep getting stronger.

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  • July 10, 2015 at 7:50 am
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    I am broken up with a N but I want it to work. So does he. Am I fighting a losing battle?

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  • June 25, 2018 at 8:06 pm
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    It is so laughable to see people trying to explain what a Narcissist is and how they work I would attempt to tell you what a Narcissists truly is but you all have you special ideas and I don’t even care to try to enlighten you. But I will say that all of you are wrong about the Narcissists and what it really is and unless you read your Bible and get an understanding what it is saying you will never understand the Narcissists or what it is or is about and it will always elude you in mind body and consciousness and spirit.

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    • September 10, 2018 at 6:59 pm
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      Oh let me guess, it’s something demonic. Get lost bible beater!

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      • February 28, 2019 at 9:21 pm
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        Get lost bible beater, is that the extent of your education and your intelligence and incite just because you hate the bible something that you don’t bother to read or understand is the reason that you have no spiritual discernment and someone like you are a prime target for demons or possession or mind control that will keep you for ever ignorant to truth and reality not only that you are separated from God and you are a lost soul that is full of ignorance and hate people like you learn the hard way if you ever learn at all that is why you will always be susceptible to the Narcissists.

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  • February 28, 2019 at 9:11 pm
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    When are people going to realize that a personality can not be a mental disorder a personality is something that you are born with and Narcissism is something you are born with also but it is not a mental disorder it is a personality not a personality disorder and the mental health know this fact by now but they don’t want to deal with it because it has a spiritual connection and if they admitted that Narcissism was something you are born with they would have to admit that it is a spiritual disorder dealing with the demonic realm. We need to examine why the mental health profession is not being truthful about the Narcissist and what he really is nothing can turn someone into a Narcissists for one thing all Narcissists are the same being it is a covert Narc they are the same in their group and the overt Narc is the same in it’s own group that is the only differences but basically their motivations are the same they just go about getting what they want in different ways and the persona is different

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    • August 28, 2019 at 2:53 pm
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      You are incorrect, educate yourself on Cluster B personality disorders which includes narcissism and you will find they are acquired early in life and typically are very resistant to change. I would suggest seeing a psychologist and educate yourself on this form of mental illness. Your information is NOT supported by clinical expertise and evidence.

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