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15 thoughts on “Gaslighting: How to Drive Someone Crazy

  • August 13, 2017 at 4:04 am
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    It has taken me three decades to see and understand what my ex did to me, also how fast he began to use gaslight methods on me. He very quickly convinced me i didn’t know what I was doing thinking from day to day minute to minute. Isolated me by forbidding me to see my parents for a year or my daughter. I was 19 years old.
    He made me help his previous wife and children with constant threat of leaving me if I didn’t obey. In time there was other women and he provided my involvement with the odd man, which of course he ended beating me so badly I died but was revived to endure 11 more years before I with our daughter ( my youngest) get away.
    It has taken me over 15’years of councelling 23 years of acupuncture to enable me to survive but it’s left me anxious unable to trust most men and some women.

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  • August 13, 2017 at 12:44 pm
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    Christine,
    I experienced this recently and not only does it drive someone crazy it creates ugliness. I find it difficult to have compassion for others who resort to gas lighting tactics and lies to secure their own needs/wants. I am grateful that I don’t feel the need to do this and have no control over others who do.

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  • August 14, 2017 at 12:39 pm
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    I have been a victim of Gaslighting. It almost took my life and robbed me of my sanity. It is hard to imagine that

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  • August 15, 2017 at 7:38 pm
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    One problem which goes unmentioned here is the consequent side effects of this behaviour on subsequent relationships of the victim. Sometimes, the ‘bullied’ unconsciously replicate the behaviour of the bullies, inflicting this on the new partner until, feeling they’ve somewhat tired of the situation, move on and ‘leave them for dead’.

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  • May 3, 2018 at 11:04 pm
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    This is an excellent article outlining how gaslighting works. I unfortunately have endured a marriage in which my ex husband gaslighted me. He followed the steps exactly as described here. It is kind of eerie. It’s almost like he went to school to study and apply this abusive method of mental abuse. He once worked for government security or intelligence and I have to wonder if methods like gaslighting would have been taught there as a way to break down a target to get information. Other articles I have read about narcissism all point to similar behaviour like gaslighting towards targets. The stories of other people’s experiences of narcissistic abuse sounded so much like what I went through that I could have written these stories myself. Again, it shocks me to realize these methods of abuse are so incredibly similar and are generated from people with a personality disorder. It’s like they all go to the same school to study and learn how to mentally screw and abuse people. It’s sick, and I can’t believe there are so many gaslighting narcissists out there. It is not three years since I moved out of my former family home, and I still greatly fear being in any relationship ever again because I never want to be controlled or emotionally abused ever again. I don’t know if I can ever trust a man ever again.

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    • May 4, 2018 at 7:21 pm
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      I understand your fear and am sorry that you endured this. Please continue healing. Don’t let your past abuse determine your future life.

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  • August 24, 2018 at 3:41 am
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    This happened to me and as I read the article it was as though the person who gaslighted me had read it and used it step by step!!! I could not believe it!! Yes, and I had someone step in and point out I was being gaslighted and that saved me as the gaslighter had come into my life while I was horribly ill and really struggling and used my weakness to manipulate me and make me feel crazy. Telling me my “perceptions were off” just as the article states!!! She set me up step by step..over time…This article is spot on!!! The gaslighter acted as though she was so concerned for me and brought me a few foodstuffs and then later threatened to not bring any!! How evil can a person be. Please, if you have a feeling someone is manipulating you. listen to your instincts, gaslighters can drive you crazy and that is where I was heading!!! They are a form of narcissist..evil and cunning beyond belief!!

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    • August 24, 2018 at 3:47 am
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      May I add this person also tried to isolate me from others at a time when I had few people to depend on. She had commented on my carer and told me “You need to get rid of her, as I want you doing things for yourself.” She didn’t care about my welfare, just wanted me soley dependant upon her.!! Her situation is she has very little, while myself, though definitely not living in the lap of luxury have more than she does and she had commented on it telling me “I can see the packages you get over there and who comes and goes.” “I can see everything.” . (I was so blind. I am forever grateful to the person who pointed out her manipulations!) Again great and informative article.

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  • March 12, 2019 at 11:45 pm
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    Unfortunately you must be careful with individuals claiming gaslighting. As it’s such a well known term in my experience, my ex wife would claim I gaslighted her anytime I would catch her in a lie or distortion or tried to create a boundary or create accountability. I didn’t actually know what this was until she mentioned it. Once I researched it, it opened my eyes and allowed me to strengthen my resolve to stand my ground and feel less confused.

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