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10 thoughts on “How to Survive a Divorce with a Narcissist

  • June 14, 2018 at 9:22 am
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    Oh my word, this could be text book about whats happening to me. How do we get through this? I was married for 17 years – took me 10 to pluck up the courage and now I know why it took me this long

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  • November 2, 2018 at 11:14 am
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    I have to tell you, after being married to narcissist for 13 years, having two children, and then being discarded, I was broken. Not having any idea what was happening or anything about narcissism, I was beyond exhausted from the constant gaslighting and daily mental pummeling.

    The day I discovered your podcasts was the day I began to patch myself back together. I seriously cannot thank you enough for the information and coping mechanisms you provide. To know how a narcissist thinks, I feel, is half the battle to being able to move on with life. I listen to your podcasts almost every day to help me stay grounded and know how to deal and predict and be prepared for what’s about to happen with what still continues as an almost daily battle even 1 year post divorce.

    With all my heart thank you for what you’re doing.

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  • November 9, 2018 at 11:37 pm
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    This is verbatim what happened to me. I finally was able to gather the courage after 18 years and divorce him. We have 2 children together and he continues to try to control me. I’m tired exhausted and at the end of my rope with it. Praying for the day that I can look at him and not care.

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  • November 20, 2018 at 10:08 am
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    The more I read these articles the more I wonder how exactly we can label people narcissists and then look at their behavior through that point of view. That is a pretty strong label given after in-depth therapeutic study not by an angry spouse getting divorced.

    Looking at this list, I can see at least half of those behaviors being lived out by my soon to be ex-wife. Is she a narcissist? Or am I because I can see myself in some of those on the list too? I am staring down the reality that I am going to lose my kids and would do anything to have a relationship with them so YES, I will take them to Disney if it means I get more time with them. Who wouldn’t?

    What happens when a woman automatically labels her husband a narcissists and then treats him that way? Suddenly everything lives out a preconceived (or prejudiced) point of view. Then the silent treatment isn’t really the silent treatment because she is protecting herself? And it isn’t really parental alienation because she is protecting the kids by giving them warning signs of a narcissist? Is it post-divorce narcissistic control or court-mandated visitation rights?

    It’s dangerous to take a situation in life and then apply a seriously debilitating label to one of the participants because you can’t see it from their angle. In my case, my wife has labeled me a narcissist and spread rumors around our community. This same woman has physically assaulted me in front of our kids, lied to the police to avoid arrest, used the silent treatment for weeks on end throughout our marriage, screamed and cussed at me in front of the kids. Is she a narcissist? If this were the behavior of a man, would it be different?

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    • November 21, 2018 at 7:41 am
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      No, narcissism describes a type of personality disorder, gender has nothing to do with it. It is best to seek out a professional counselor for a proper diagnosis.

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  • December 24, 2018 at 3:21 pm
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    Wow.. This is great information. I am going through a divorce now after being married 10/21/2017.. I love my wife totally. Like an unhealthy love her over myself type of love. I must. Cause I’ve been letting her belittle me through our whole marriage and all I could think of was how can I keep her happy. I understand now why I never could consistently. She is a great woman. But she is definitely showing me all the signs I’ve gotten from all this research. Thing is, now that I have a grasp on what may be going on and her actual possible disorder, it makes me feel like now I have the right tools to help her with true understanding. So me learning about this makes me want to stay and help her more. Is that totally the wrong approach? Am I just responding to my strong care and love for her that makes me want to help her?

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