6 thoughts on “How to Survive a Narcissistic Mother In-Law

  • April 1, 2019 at 7:43 pm

    OHMG. I am so completely utterly mentally and even physically wiped out since moving next door to my husbands mother and father. I always knew some things just weren’t right but it seemed so complicated and hard to pinpoint that it was easier just to ignore things and try to survive it. 3 years later, after living next door and having our lives intersect on a daily basis…it has compounded everything to the point that I HAD to try and understand what I’m living around because IF I could just figure it out then I could understand it better and therefore cope better….?!!
    My FIL is a complete Narcissist in every sense of the word. My mother in law is a female version. A narcissist with a lot of chaos, gossiping, stirring up trouble, underhanded or backhanded insults and on and on and on. I try to just smile, be kind and go on about my business but….it is REALLY affecting me in a bad way. There is no sense of calm anywhere around this family. Drama, trauma, arguments, hurt feelings and then big white elephants in the room that everyone ignores is the norm here. I cannot find any peace and I feel like I’m dying inside.

  • July 19, 2019 at 9:44 am

    This is very good advice if you don’t have the option of going no contact. We just had enough and are no contact. It’s so freeing.

  • October 13, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    It’s refreshing to know- I am not alone!! Thank you for your post, and thank you to all who have replied or commented.
    I’m an RN, and am embarrassed to admit, I was blindsided by what was happening to me (what is still happening). I am educated and should know what to look for right?!?- WRONG!!
    Narcissism comes in many forms. For me, I was taken completely by surprise! For me, I am battling a double sided blade. My husband, who was raised by a master, and that aforementioned master- the Mother in Law, both have me questioning my sanity some days.
    I have allowed it to come to this, but I want to share this so others can see my story. Maybe their eyes will widen faster than mine did. Help keep others from being pulled into the same situation.
    I spent years falling for the mother-in-‘laws
    “Elderly widow- depression and MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS” I NEED YOU to take care of me … we moved our entire family out to a very rural area, right next door, to keep vigil over her! She had multiple medications and Dr apts, Falls requiring us to rush over in the wee hours of the night!!
    This went on for YEARS!! Eventually she wanted a new supply. She started talking negatively about us behind our backs to our entire family. Manipulating them, posing us at odds with “them on her side”.
    I started finding her medication was missed and left untaken, she was being quiet and reserved… and we had no idea WHY! Her mental state came into question! She was unable to drive. All the while- she was blatantly lying to our faces, spewing hateful lies to anyone who would listen… we live in a very small rural town- so it came back to me quickly! When I confronted her-her medical notes had been sent to me- her caregiver- and the notes were very telling!! She became even more hateful! Only then- did she have a MIRACULOUS recovery!! As it was all al LIE!! A ploy for attention!
    I have set firm boundaries- to prevent her from trying to abuse me again. My husband, who had to grow up in that environment and was well groomed by her, constantly caves! Which infuriates me! My boundaries, are not respected because she has grown him and constantly guilts him…
    There’s will be a new chapter to this, in my dramatic tabloid. No doubt. I only hope, that others can see these writings and recognize the signs!
    Signed- Codependent Cast Off

    • October 14, 2019 at 8:37 am

      I’m so thankful that you can see this now and are setting healthy boundaries! Keep reading and learning, it is the best defense against narcissism.


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