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28 thoughts on “Ten Tips for Victims of Sociopathic Behavior

  • September 2, 2015 at 12:51 pm
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    After having been in a relationship with a sociopath, I don’t feel that I can trust people. How do people get past that?

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    • June 23, 2019 at 5:07 am
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      I don’t know how to trust right now.. it seems like everyone I trust turns around and messes me up even more.. I have been doing research into how I can heal what he has broken.. this is going to take some time.. and I dont want to date or get close to another man for quit some time..I need to heal me before i can carry on a romantic relationship with anyone.. it just wouldn’t be fair to me or the or the other person..

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  • September 2, 2015 at 1:25 pm
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    I enjoyed and found your article quite interesting, however, I’m curious about a situation wherein the victim feels she is performing her righteous Christian duty by sublimating herself to her victimizers (in this case, her adult son, his adult daughter, and her step-father, all who have moved into her home and are exploitative, financially and otherwise.)

    Having been raised in the same household (although more than a decade apart), I, too, suffered profound abuse with relationship partners for years. While I feel I finally ‘have a grip’ on the pattern(s) and am aware, it is gut-wrenching to view this occurring in real time in someone I deeply love. She exhausts herself (yes, I noted your book title) in cooking, cleaning, and maintaining a home for these creatures, while they sleep all day, utilize social media through the night, do not have viable employment, and basically give zero in return except an occasional friendly conversation to keep her going.

    Trying to point out the inequity in her situation is seemingly futile as she shakes her head and states that God will not give her more than she can bear. Ack!

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    • September 2, 2015 at 2:32 pm
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      It might just be a futile effort. Remember the saying, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

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    • July 5, 2018 at 8:44 am
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      Sounds like my mother-in-law, who is also super religious Her husband would say or do the most awful things and she would start talking about how beautiful the weather was. It’s a coping skill that got integrated into her personality as a woman living in the south with no means of her own. She was practically giddy when he recently passed away. I don’t know that there’s anything you can do. She may even be a covert narcissist herself.

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    • July 6, 2018 at 3:32 pm
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      Trying to point out the inequity…I lived with my nutty wife for 22 years and she decided to re-team up with her first nutty husband just a few months ago, no goodbyes or anything, just gone.
      The deal is no one could have convinced me she was a nut case, I don’t even like thinking about that as it tends to make me look stupid. I defended her and did whatever I could to help her over the years, a waste of time.
      On what God will do…My brother tried to tell me that all I need is to pray about a situation, well a farmer should pray for rain but God is not going to plant the seeds for you.
      Anyway, one method I’ve seen work is my brother had invited a nut into his country cabin and given her a room while he commuted to the Bay Area and visited once in a while. Soon she added several other drug infested nuts into the home. Brother was stuck but came up with the idea of allowing his irritating friend to move into the place also. Hector badgered the people until they all left, they stole the nice stuff and left the garbage behind the barn.

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  • September 2, 2015 at 4:53 pm
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    Christine,
    I know you probably will not respond but I myself found out about 2 years ago that I’m a sociopath, I am married with kids, and always new the way I treated people was not the norm, I have spent a lot of time with psychologist and a lot of money. before my kids I had absolutely no empathy for anyone. That has changed, not toward everyone, but still working on it. Everyone says a sociopath won’t/can’t change but it is happening.

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  • September 3, 2015 at 5:00 pm
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    Great article! Are sociopaths mentally ill, or is it more along the lines of a personality disorder? Also, do sociopaths get worse as they get older, as I’ve noticed that narcissists seem to get worse as they age?

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  • October 11, 2017 at 2:05 am
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    Lol @ point 10. Be careful and distrusting so you can get diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic and/or autistic by a psychiatrist and then further hurt by your abuser once they find there’s a loophole to worsen the abuse.

    Guess how I know that this is a stupid idea?

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  • July 5, 2018 at 8:38 am
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    As a woman who left an abusive marriage with a cluster B man, I want others out there to know the nightmare won’t be over if you have children with them. Today’s family courts will not help you, but will instead help the abuser get custody. Educate yourself about “parental alienation”, which can be used by the sociopath against you both ways. The sociopath can alienate the children from you (Alex Jones of Infowar) or falsely accuse you of it (Tsimhoni case). Also read about the quacky proponents of parental alienation –Richard Gardner, Paul Warshak and Craig Childress. If you know enough about cluster B disorders, you will recognize it in all 3 men and their legions of men’s right followers. Gardner left behind writings sympathetic to pedophiles, Warshak makes money off $40,000 “reunification” programs that involve kids being forcibly taken to out of state facilities (Hannah Mills and Jeu children/Family Bridges case) to learn to “love” the sociopath parent (who else but a sociopath would do that to their kids). Childress writes and talks in a raving and ranting manner that is not at all professional, attacking the APA for not recognizing “parental alienation” as a pathology. Family law professionals are not trained to recognize Cluster B disorders and are instead charmed and manipulated by them. They also are not trained to distinguish between true alienation vs. estrangement due to a sociopath parent’s behavior. The parental alienation theory, despite not being recognized by the APA, has taken a hold of courts in the US and abused women are finding that their genuine complaints of abuse are only viewed as further evidence of alienation. The sociopath is so manipulative he actually will say and do abusive things to the kids as a tactical strategy to gain custody.

    My advice, learn coping strategies and stick it out (which will also give you time to thoroughly research and plan before you make any moves) if you can until the kids are old enough to have a say about custody. If that’s not an option, make sure you get the right attorney to guide and defend you. The top professions that sociopaths inhabit? Judges and attorneys. Not all of them are sociopaths, but you don’t get to pick the judge or the court ordered professionals.

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  • October 21, 2018 at 11:42 am
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    I was unlucky enough to have my sociapath drop in front of me at an age way to young to understand how people like this even exist. At 13, I know now that that is too young to date, but I came from a broken home and not much guidance from the parent I lived with, not blaming either parent for my actions. Now after only being with my sociapath for only ONE Year, 28 years later I am Still dealing with the trauma he poured on me. It took me At least 20buears to even realize what he is, and what He did to me.
    He abused me in Every way you can.
    My first boyfriend lied to me from day 1. He told me He was 16, but he was really 19. Later for some reason whatever it is,he lied about his middle name, lied about where he worked (he didn’t work). When confronted with the truth he never blink. He belittled me, my weight, clothes, the way I talked. Once he found out he could always come back after breaking up with me or cheating, he belittled me even more.
    I know I was too young, but I thought he loved me, I thought i loved him. He told me he loved me, he would get jealous if he knew I was talking to other guys. He was very charming and popular in the neighborhood, I was new to the area,but not the town. I was a new easy target. I am a shy and quiet person, who at the time thought the world was fun, and kind. After only being with him a short time I learned it was exciting ,fast,mysterious, then chaotic, mean and lonely. He introduced me to drinking and drugs, so parting was all we done, it was never really no emotional support, he never really supported me in anything, it was all about him. At the end of my time with him, he sexually assaulted me while I was drunk, and I never told anyone, ever, after that I still Loved him. 3 days after he raped me he went to jail for robbing an Old man and other stuff, then went to prison for almost 10 years. I even visited him,and was there for him some. The last time I seen him, I brought up the assault, he said he was sorry for what he did to me, Once he said that it was like I woke up, it was not my fault he MESSED me up!
    He has been out of prison for a while and not once has he contacted me. I know I should be glad and I am. I mow hate the fact that I let him hurt me, but I still can’t get over him after all these years!

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  • February 17, 2019 at 7:53 pm
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    I can’t leave the relationship I am currently in with a sociopath… I fell in love and I know how unhealthy it is but I just can’t leave

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  • April 29, 2019 at 7:06 pm
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    I’m reading thru these comments having a much deeper experience than I’m reading. I applaud you for your recognition and will to get help. After I exposed the person I spent 2 decades w. He could not take responsibility. After reading your comment, I thought back to before we had a child together. I feared him. Becoming a father did change how he acted. His abuse just became different. Maybe if he would have acknowledged like u claim u are trying to do. He might have learned to think more moral. Unfortunately, he raised the stakes and became more protective of his home and child but outside were many victims . on that note. I pray u find the help u need. I don’t believe God has made any of his children to be outright hurtful. It comes from some kind of trauma. I’m no counselor. I just do a lot of reading. Good luck

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  • May 17, 2019 at 10:21 pm
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    After 15 years under his spell and control over me, I finally did it. I filed for a restraining order and was granted 5 years. My whole body went limp and I was overcome with sadness. It broke my heart to walk away. I love him. He is unable to be helped, though. He is 100% SOCIOPATH. End of story. MOVE ON! Yet I sit here in tears every night and miss him so bad that I am sick to my stomache. NO CONTACT is nearly impossible for me. I HAVE to answer when he calls. I am sick. I don’t know how to heal or where to begin. I scroll the net every night looking for answers. I am miserable when I am with him, and miserable when I am without him. I feel crazy anymore:(

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  • July 9, 2019 at 2:47 pm
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    My ex narc sociopath nearly killed me last year when I discarded him and wouldn’t take his calls. He stalked me all night, then he entered my home as I slept without invitation and attacked me. He first punched me repeatedly in my face. I ran to defend myself, he then followed and pushed me down on the bed and strangled me with one hand as he stood over me. I was instantly without air. I tried to plead to him with my eyes to release my throat, but his eyes were going down my naked body as I struggled and kicked. When he eventually released my throat and I turned to my side to breathe, my throat burned. He then pulled out a gun and pressed it into my side until it penetrated my skin. After the strangulation, I could not hear or comprehend what he was saying nor could not stand or walk steadily. I try not to imagine what would’ve happened had the police not arrived.

    As a result of the attack, I had a black right eye, a swollen face, two pea-sized hematomas – one in my upper left cheek the other above my right eye near my temple. My right eyeball was bloodied from petechiae due to strangulation. My throat burned; it hurt to swallow. My left hip was scarred and in pain from the gun penetration.

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    • July 11, 2019 at 5:08 am
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      I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you and thankful that you lived through such a traumatic experience. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  • July 20, 2019 at 6:20 pm
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    Hi Christine,
    Great article. Can you please help me identify what is the profile of a right therapist? Most I have spoken to haven’t dealt with any of this.
    Many thanks,
    Emma

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