4 thoughts on “Obsessed: Narcissists and Their Food

  • January 18, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    Wow, I have never read such an eerily familiar account of one’s mother and food! I thought I had a totally unique experience! I didn’t learn that eating was supposed to ba an enjoyable or pleasant thing until i was about 10, and started eating at my friend’s homes; with my mother not being there. My mother was the worst cook imaginable, but i grew up thinking this is what eating was. Not only did she demand I love her food, but when my father or uncle expressed the slightest dissatisfaction, which could simply be not lauding her for her meal, she demanded I fiercely support her. Not only was her cooking awful, but she had an extremely limited awareness of what foods were available to eat. I discovered foods eating elsewhere. She was also a health food nut, back in the day when this was not a mainstream. It was the 50’s and early 60’s. I was underweight and always sick. I know my friends parents thought I was piggish or something, but I was just freakin hungry! She hautily criticized other people’s cooking, and made me feel stupid for not loving her foods as if I was lacking her superior knowledge of what one should eat. I left home at 18 n have spent the last 45 years learning how to be a great cook, learning about all different kinds of foods, and appreciating good food and other great cooks. Thank you for this story, it has amazingly comforted me! I realized my mother was a narcissist only much later in life, but this aspect of it is mind blowing!

  • February 15, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    My husband has some controlling manners around food. Manners at the table were always demanded and would resort to intimidating behaviors- menacing looks, raising his voice etc even when the kids were very small. Expecting them to use a fork and knife when they were still pretty little. It infuriates me now when I think back. We pretty much eat what he likes and his likes are superior.

    I see the connection with control and setting rigid rules. His main go to for control and demanding behavior is always school grades. This truly dominates our life. He sets the rules and only perfection is expected. It sets them up to fail and I am the reason they didn’t succeed. The pattern has been set with the anxiety building period, raging and silent treatment, and then beginning of a new grading period when it starts all over. My son is a junior in HS and at times I’m not sure our marriage will survive until he graduates. I feel I need to keep it together until then, but it seems like a lifetime.


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