6 thoughts on “What is Sadistic Parenting?

  • February 1, 2019 at 7:33 am

    Hi. I like and learn from your articles you have written. I well keep looking for them.
    This question is not about the above article but don’t know who to ask.
    I wonder if there is true everlasting love in a relationship?
    If so what do I need to know to maintain that everlasting love?
    What do I need to know to guide or lead my other half to an everlasting love relationship?
    Thanking in advance.

  • February 4, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    I have wondered about information on this like this for a long time. I don’t know how I’m not spiraling down into sickening re-traumatization after reading this, except that I’ve been doing EMDR for a few months now. It’s clear to me my “mother” has a cluster B personality disorder but I started to suspect APD when I reflected on childhood memories of witnessing her secretly smirk after fighting with adults in her life. I can’t describe how I ‘blocked’ knowing it as a child, even tho I knew what I saw. It sent so much terror thru me but I was able to get away from myself so I wouldn’t have to know what I saw. I had to do that because I knew instinctively, if she knew I knew, she might correctly assume I was putting pieces of the puzzle together that I sometimes caught her smirking like that too after she hurt me in any of the various deniable ways she hurt me as a helpless child. And she’d feel threatened, and I’d be badly hurt. I witnessed her appear to feel good about herself after abusing me. I saw her do it with her sisters, her parents, her struggling soon to be ex-husband, and the people her church assigned to come visit her. She acted so sweet and only used emotional tactics on outsiders that left them confused. She looked, back then, exactly like a murderous mother I saw in a documentary, Diane Downs. They’re almost exactly the same age with kids so the footage feels like my childhood. They both look out the tops of their eyes exactly the same sadistic “sweet” way. I don’t know what exactly but maybe it’s my stories of her rage attacks that lead therapists to conclude she has BPD. That never seemed to entirely sit right with me and I kept quiet because I knew all I could utter was “but she smirks”. I don’t know how, but I know she is sadistic. I haven’t read up on it. But it’s interesting how many other components of my story are listed here that I never knew I could use as pieces of the puzzle. Almost every single one, except that she denies it instead of boasting. The article reads almost exactly as how I tell my story to the few trusted people I have. And now it’s hitting me, I’m so scared. She’s appeared at my kids school last year silently walking past where they wait to be picked up. She’s turned my whole childhood family against me and I just lay low, off social media, mostly because I can barely cope right now. I gratefully have a supportive husband but sometimes I feel like we’re sinking together, wishing we had protection from her smear campaigns. Will law enforcement listen if all I have is “she abused me, my husband and I know she’s APD but we’re the only ones, and I’m scared of her”? Gotta box this till I see my trauma therapist this week for EMDR. I’m feeling despair of what hope is there of ending child suffering when there’s no awareness of how bad it really is? Sorry Christine, thank you for sharing this information. It’s true. I lived it as a child and never was rescued. I thot I had it beat when I left home. I’ve lived courageously, determined to thrive one day. I can’t do it without support like this article, figuring out my reality.

  • February 4, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    And Christine, sorry, I should take responsibility for being the one bringing it up with therapists that I thot she had BPD and wanted to talk about it. They didn’t volunteer it or ever definitively agree, but they wouldn’t disagree either. I said that wrong earlier that therapists thot that when I talked to them. Sometimes they could conceed it sounded likely, but without meeting her they wouldn’t know. Quite invalidating tho. When I don’t even understand yet how much fear I’m feeling, I already feel like there’s not going to be much support speaking out against the abuser. It felt like the same old “she’s not that bad”, I’m not going to be believed, feeling. So much fear and confusion being a grown abused child.


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