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26 thoughts on “How Narcissists Use the Courts to Continue Their Abuse

  • March 22, 2016 at 5:27 pm
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    This is a fantastic article !!! So incredibly true. It really becomes vivid if you timeline out the various stages of the filings, behaviors etc. Great article!

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  • March 24, 2016 at 11:33 pm
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    What advice do you give to clients dealing with this issue?

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  • March 25, 2016 at 3:34 pm
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    Wish I would have come across this article sooner! I can completely relate. So what is one to do when you find yourself in a situation as such?

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  • August 4, 2016 at 3:53 am
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    That is been very close to my experience with my former partner, who I now know has NPD. In the hopes of it possibly helping others, I have also started a blog recently: realdanniaskini.wordpress.com.

    Thank you so, so much for your article!

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  • September 4, 2016 at 1:39 pm
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    Right on point with dealing with NPD and the current court system. Do you believe our court system is trying to adjust to these abuses? In the CT system, I find the stalling tactics and frivolous motions are not working as much as the court is looking to hear the motions and rule, stopping some of the NPD abuses.

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  • September 6, 2016 at 1:26 pm
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    Can credibility be challenged in courtrooms when the NPD has 10 cases in the brewing? It seems the accusations by the NPD are reasonable to the untrained in dealing with him/her intimately…however the usual multi focused cases from property, criminal, custody, to allegations of theft are usually littered around the state seem to hold no weight at all to any case

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  • November 5, 2016 at 8:16 pm
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    Narcissistic abuse previals behind closed doors – the legal system can provide exposure to the situation which is crucial to any outcome against malicious people.

    I leveraged the legal system to protect and defend myself twice in such a context. It is important to remain consistent and true to yourself in to the context of the sistuation.

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  • May 30, 2017 at 9:21 pm
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    One thing to add from our experience dealing with a narc: they use multiple law firms in different cities within the same legal jurisdiction to file threatening letters. Thus no single lawyer ever knows the full story. Each time we receive a new threat, I point this out to her *new* attorney. Clever trick, but easy to defeat.

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  • June 2, 2017 at 8:49 am
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    Thank you for this. This is happening to me, and it has ruined my life. My ex-husband (legally) refused to let me see my children after having them pack up all my things after he kicked me out of my house. He dumped me like garbage after 10 years of marriage. I lost my home, my JOB (SAHM), my house, and my entire family in one day. After years of abuse. We had drafted a joint custody agreement but it wasn’t SIGNED. Then he refused to let me see my children. I went to him and begged him to let me see my children. I was very very upset. Then he called the cops. I was arrested on a family violence charge, put in jail, and then he got a Protective Order. I have not seen my daughters 8 and 10 years old, for a year. In order to see them I’ve spent thousands of dollars on lawyers and I will only get to see them for one hour a week for 4 more months. He has the right to stop this at any time. He is a diagnosable Covert Narcissist. Before this I didn’t have a single criminal charge, not even a moving violation. Now my reputation is ruined, it’s hard to get a job. Thank you for this post. I wish the legal system could see this abuse of it.

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    • January 28, 2019 at 10:36 pm
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      Going through the exact thing now also ruined my life, she had me arrested and did the same restraining order with my 3 & 6 year old daughters. I initially went 91 days with zero contact and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done so my heart goes out to you at a year. 🙁
      To have to just sit here missing them so much and worrying about them being stuck with that monster 24/7… I’m their father I’m supposed to be able to protect them, I’d die for them and certainly kill for them… but in the end that wouldn’t be beneficial to them. 🙁 . . .
      I’m currently only getting supervised visitation.
      It’s brutal, court specified 1 hour/ week but because of her lack of flexibility with bringing the girls every time I make an appointment the next available one is 3-4 weeks out and the visits are $60 for only 45 minutes. In reality I end up with 4 visits in 3 months… that works out to 12 hrs/ year.its such bullshit the only way I can describe my feelings when the supervisor gives me the 5 minute warning is Soul crushing… the last couple times my daughters and I just hugged and cried together the last 5 minutes… it’s not getting easier idk how much longer I can keep this up with everything else around me going to shit. Like just today actually the next 2 worse possible things that can happen just happened so I needed to vent.
      FML signed, Me

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  • January 2, 2018 at 10:21 pm
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    I am too dealing with this.

    My NPD adopted mother has actively sabotaged me for decades, ever since introducing me to her pedophile brother from even before I was formally adopted at 14. Ever since I revealed the activity, it has been operation clean sweep to protect the creep.

    Over the years, I tried forgiving them but every birthday, Christmas, New Years, and positive event always turned into a twisted conversation that made me absolutely perplexed until I realized I was dealing with an NPD person.

    I went complete no-contact with them for years, and have received numerous attempts for contact about sick family members I barely knew, offers to take their piano for free (which was a poorly maintained but beautiful peice of junk, try moving that 400 miles) and a really weird envelope containing childhood pictures of me from before I lived with them with no return address or envelope.

    I flatly told them I had no interest in talking to them until they came clean about the molester brother. This eventually led to police showing up at my door because I may have been “suicidal” (despite having a job, boat, beautiful fiancee, business, and a van) and when that failed next thing I knew I was being served court charges that they “feared for their safety and damage to their property” despite that I’ve barely talked to them in almost 10 years and haven’t even been to their town in more than 5 years. I had 6 police cars with cops in body armour stop at my house daily for almost a month when I was simply at work – I was the one who called the police to find out what was going on because my neighbors were thinking I was some sort of terrorist or something.

    They made it so urgent that the police served me a second copy of the document on some urgent request at 11pm on New Years Eve. Of course the first copy of the document came around Christmas Day.

    These people (NPD) are frickin nuts. My last communication to them was that, no, I am not suicidal and no, I have no intention of hurting them or even coming to their town at all and crap like this is the reason I have no interest in talking to them any further.

    How that translates into a threat of imminent harm worthy of criminal charges is beyond me, and the only reason the Crown would take it up is if she was lying about all sorts of crap. The police probably think I have a stockpile of weapons (which I dont), a history of violence (which I dont) and that I am mentally unstable (which I’m not).

    I wish the justice system would start prosecuting public mischeif charges and send these kind of people to jail, the laws are already on the books, just enforce them. I have been defamed, discredited, and lied about by these people for 25 years and I only lived with them for 2, I was adopted at 14 and was kicked out at 16 and then again just before I turned 18.

    It takes a special kind of crazy for a couple adults to hound a teenager like this well into adulthood. Once they even told my girlfriend she should be “careful in considering to move in with me” because she should “think of the safety of her daughter”. What on earth is that?? Chee thanks Mom for your kind words to my girlfriend, ya dumb b*tch.

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  • January 28, 2018 at 1:46 pm
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    I can only say I am the exhausted gay man. I have been in three narcissist relationships. I always though I could save them. Now I am in a trap that I can not get out of. My narcissist filed false stalking charges against me in another state. The charges were dismissed last week but that did not stop the narcissist and threats of new charges and an appeal were made. The simple fact is that if the case is over, I am gone and it is done. I had promised that my narcissist would never see me again and I have had to go through so much to make that happen. It seemed very important to him I show up in court but would only call into court hearings making things very hard. I went no contact a year ago but now need to go no contact with the court until the formal dismissal. I have changed my phone and will no longer respond to email threats of appeals from his attorney. I just changed my phone number again for the second time in a year. The end is the absolute worst. A narcissist will not let go even though you have.

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  • January 22, 2019 at 10:44 am
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    I need help. I am dealing with the court system right now. My 15 yr old does not want to see my ex and each time a visit is missed, my ex files a police report. He is trying to put me in jail for felony interfering with a child custody order, I suspect because he was charged with Domestic Violence and I have had a protection order since 2015. It expires soon and I am afraid that someday he will ultimately kill me. I have been dealing with so much already and I just want it to all stop. I am already fighting enforcement for 2 missed visits in family court and he just filled another one for the felony charges.

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