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10 thoughts on “What’s Behind a Narcissistic Rant?

  • September 21, 2016 at 11:31 am
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    Excellent article. Caregivers often put up with various behaviors such as narcissism and this was clear and to the point. I will circulate this info and plan to order your book. Thank you, be well.
    Doc

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  • September 22, 2016 at 11:48 am
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    No one should feel obligated to tolerate “rants” as a regular part of the relationship they have with anyone else. While your article is well written, as usual, a couple of thoughts come to mind. First, under your heading of whether the narcissist can get their needs met elsewhere, yes they should be able to meet their own needs, but given how easy it is to keep on keeping on, it’s easier to just devalue and discard in favour of another (additional) source, making infidelity a common problem in relationships. Who needs that crap from a toddler? No one. Second, the “solution” for the narcissist would ideally be to grow up, learn the emotional skills that they missed developing as young ones. The problem is that few will. Change is hard, personal growth is painful and they just aren’t equipped to do this, so, the solution is beyond their grasp. Third, regarding self-protection, the best thing to do once you have awoken from the fog of bs, is to get out if possible. Run away, far, far away and do not ever, never look back, never go back. No contact.

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  • September 25, 2016 at 5:03 pm
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    When I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist, I was completely caught off guard. At first I listened carefully to his rants and scrambled to fulfill all his egotistical needs – mostly to avoid the argument and verbal abuse that followed. Then I tried being silent and withdrawing into my own mind- in an effort to protect myself emotionally. He never could understand why I was feeling hurt and upset. I started recording his rants and the awful things he would say. When he had calmed down and wanted to know why I was upset, I told him what he had said. He denied it. I played the recording. He STILL refused to believe he ever said those things and accused me of manipulating his voice to make the recording….lol. He also would state, “Oh I was just kidding.” I was able to convince him to talk to a professional. When he told me that she said, “You are such a wonderful man! Anyone would be soooo lucky to have you! There is nothing wrong with you!” I knew he never went to his appointment. For my own sanity, I left. No contact. Life is sooo much better.

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  • October 16, 2016 at 9:14 pm
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    A great explanation of a narcissists need to rant and impress others of their pov. How this can essentially stop a valid exchange discussion amongst people be it just two or a crowd. However if this is to truly address an exhausted woman of which I was one for 22 years – and I tried all of the tactics described above at various times throughout, the confusion of how a good conversation could be broken up and what the root cause was is not often very apparent if you personally do not behave this way. I found any method – even writing – even waiting for 24 hours or more to be totally useless and led to my exhaustion right to my very soul or spirit – his need to be right – his conviction even after agreement with what I was trying to convey still prevailed regardless as the behaviour never changed and stories would change to suit his need to be right and to be seen as the victor or one who must be the best and all others below. Reasoning, facts, valid explanations, all led to a justifying of all of my actions, to validate myself and to defend myself often in crazy making twisting of acceptable social developmental mores. So my advice once you realise this and fully know it, that no amount of talking makes a difference, talk to a chair, talk to a wall, talk to a therapist who knows this dynamic and prepare to leave, unless you want to lose who you really are. What you need to know if you do not agree with their selfish twisted pov, somehow you will be punished and it has repercussions, the occasional boon that is granted does not last in any lasting way, they are not prepared to change, going to any counselling together is actually detrimental as it is not a relationship issue – it is one sided and only takes one to create the dysfunction. Thanks!

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  • December 7, 2017 at 8:33 pm
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    The only thing that works with these people is to disassociate.

    As others have said, run fast and run far!

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