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Children & Teens

Three Ways Parents Create Anger in Kids

The best way to understand this concept is through a story. Ulla complained about her 6-year-old son’s angry behavior so she brought him in for an appointment. At first he seemed fine but then threw a temper tantrum when he did not get his way. “You make me so angry,” he said in direct reference to his mother.

But Ulla believed that no one can “make” you angry unless you give them that right. So...

General

Twelve Tips to Eliminate Exhaustion in the New Year

How much different would life be if exhaustion wasn’t a factor? It is normal to be physically overwhelmed from long hours at work, ungrateful children, overload of electronic stimulus, and tiresome relatives. But some exhaustion is much deeper.

It stems from unmet needs, expectations, ambitions, and hopes. It is compounded by tragedies, disappointments, rejections, and harsh realities. And it encompasses nearly every aspect of life without prejudice. So this year, instead of adding one...

Exhaustion

Auld Lang Syne Lyric: Should Old Resolutions Be Forgot

This time of year is exhausting watching the morning talk shows filled with the same New Year’s resolution stories over and over.  They should just save some time and energy by replaying last year’s stories.  It’s all about eating more healthy, taking more vitamins, drinking more water, losing more weight, changing your appearance, and of course the mother of all resolutions – exercising.

While these resolutions are good, they rarely continue after the first...

Exhaustion

How Obsessive Thoughts and Guilty Feelings Feed Exhaustion

Have you ever wondered how exhaustion becomes so pervasive and infects nearly every aspect of life? Just like the flu bug, it takes over with an unyielding vengeance, putting the most productive people out of commission. There are two main ingredients that constantly fuel exhaustion: obsessive thinking and guilty feelings.

This concept is borrowed from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Thoughts and feelings drive behavior as the triangular diagram above illustrates. Replace the word “behavior” with “exhaustion”...

Coping Skills

How to Survive the First Set of Holidays without a Loved One

Perhaps a new custody agreement has the kids spending the holidays with their other parent. Or perhaps this is the first holiday after the death of a loved one. Or perhaps a family member is deployed with limited contact. Or perhaps a recent break-up in a relationship immediately changes the plans already made. Whichever the story, this is the first time things will be different and it is a bit scary.

Be honest. It is...

Work

How to Work with a Narcissist

Narcissists can be frustrating at work. Their constant need of attention, admiration, appreciation and affirmation exhausts everyone around them. Yet without these, they become agitated, angry, and even abusive. Satisfying their essential needs is not as difficult as most think but it does require some basic understanding of how narcissists operate. The reward of a peaceful work environment is well worth the slight effort.

Attention. Being ignored is one of the ultimate evils for...

General

10 Ways to Manage the Holiday Chaos

The holidays should be several days of reduced work activity set aside to celebrate with family and friends. But all too often, these days are jam-packed filled with obligations, deadlines, expectations, responsibilities and crisis. Instead of letting the exhaustion take over, try these ideas to simplify.

Make a list and check it twice. The first list is all of the must do’s, have to’s, and want to’s. This is not about order for now;...

Coping Skills

10 Things to Avoid with Alzheimer’s Patients

My dad had Alzheimer’s. Watching him fade away was one of the most difficult experiences on my life. It challenged my ideals, tested my patience, expanded my knowledge, and wore me out. These are the some of the things I learned along the way.

Don’t say they are lazy. They are not; this is part of the disorder. As Alzheimer’s progresses, the brain losses its ability to process, recall, and reason. What took seconds to...

Stress

The Lies of Suicide

Sixteen years ago to the date, my best friend committed suicide. She was beautiful inside and out with a compassionate heart too large for her physical body. As one of the smartest people I knew, she loved to engage in passionate discussions about her favorite subject: politics. She had more energy and could cram more things into one day than most could in a week. She was lovely, generous, clumsy, sarcastic, determined, enthusiastic, and feisty.

She...

General

Ten Reasons People Consider Divorcing

Getting married is often an easier decision than getting a divorce. Marriage brings pleasurable feelings of excitement, passion, and desire. But divorce stirs up feelings of anger, rejection, and betrayal. Severing ties with a person is difficult and great consideration should be given. Here are ten reasons a divorce should be considered.

Abandonment/neglect. There are several forms of abandonment or neglect. Physical desertion is leaving a spouse for an undisclosed period of time without agreement for...