advertisement

Home » Parenting » Psych Central Professional » Healing the Traumatized Child


Healing the Traumatized Child

childhood traumaYour pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet. New York: A.A. Knopf; 1924)

Carl Jung said: “In every adult there lurks a child—an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed and calls for unceasing care, attention and education. That is the part of the human personality which wants to develop and become whole” (Jung CG. “Development of Personality” in Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Vol.17. Princeton NJ: Princeton University Press; 1954).

Healing from trauma is a complex and courageous journey back to the eternal child. It is a returning to the inherent longing for wholeness. This article is intended to help therapists in healing the traumatized child.

The Childhood Effects of Trauma

Trauma is a penetrating wound and injury, which threatens one’s life. Trauma arrests the course of normal development by its repetitive intrusion of terror and helplessness into the survivor’s life.

Chronic child abuse results in fragmentation of the overall personality. Under these conditions identity formation is stymied, and a reliable sense of independence within connection is ruptured.

“Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed,” wrote Judith Herman, MD. “But repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality” (Herman JL. Trauma and Recovery. New York: BasicBooks; 1997).

The child trapped in abusive circumstances must find a way to preserve a sense of hope, trust, safety, and meaning under terrifying conditions, which contradict those basic needs. To survive, the traumatized child must resort to primitive psychological defenses.

The abusers, who the child is unconditionally dependent on, must be preserved in the child’s psyche as caring and competent, so as to ensure survival. The primary attachment must be preserved at any cost.

As a result the child may deny, wall off, excuse, or minimize the abuse. Complete amnesias known as dissociative states may occur. Dissociation can be so severe that a fragmentation of the personality can result in the emergence of alter personalities.

The pinnacle of tragedy is that the child must conclude that it is her inherent ‘badness’ that is responsible for the abuse. Paradoxically this tragic conclusion offers the abused child hope that’s/he can change his/her circumstances by becoming ‘good.’ Yet despite the child’s relentless and futile efforts to be good, deep within she feels no one really knows how vile her true self is, and if they did it would certainly ensure exile and ostracism.

For children who are sexually abused, this perception of self as damaged goods is particularly profound. The sexual violation and exploitation by the abuser becomes internalized as further evidence of her innate badness.

As much as the child struggles to deny, minimize, bargain with, and co-exist with the abuse, the impact of chronic trauma seeps into the deep recesses of the psyche and in the body. Psychologist and author Alice Miller states, “our childhoods are stored in our bodies” (Miller A. Thou shalt not be aware: Society’s betrayal of the Child. New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux; 1984).

What the conscious mind refuses to know, the psychological and physical symptoms express. The body speaks of the abuse through chronic hyper-arousal, as well as through difficulties sleeping, feeding, and overall disruptions with biological functions. States of dysphoria, confusion, agitation, emptiness, and utter aloneness, further amplify the disregulation of the body.

The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma

Long after the danger is past, traumatized people relive the events as though it were continually recurring in the present. Traumatic events are re-experienced in an intrusive-repetitive fashion. Themes are re-enacted, nightmares and flashbacks occur, and there is a persistent state of danger and distress.

States of denial and numbing alternate with the intrusive flooding of memories. The stimuli associated with the trauma are avoided through denial and numbing. The survivor experiences restricted affect, no recall, diminished interests, and an overall sense of detachment.

As survivors attempt to negotiate adult relationships, the psychological defenses formed in childhood become increasingly maladaptive. The survivor’s intimate relationships are driven by a desperate longing for protection and love, and simultaneously fueled by fears of abandonment and exploitation.

From this place, safe and appropriate boundaries cannot be established. As a result, patterns of intense, unstable relationships occur, in which dramas of rescue, injustice, and betrayal are repeatedly enacted. Hence, the survivor is at further risk of repeated victimization in adult life.

Recovery from Trauma

Recovery from chronic trauma and abuse cannot occur in isolation. The trauma survivor requires a reparative, healing connection with a therapist who will bear witness to a history fraught with inhumanity, while offering empathy, insight, and containment. Through this relationship healing can occur. Control can be restored, along with a renewed sense of personal power and connection to others.

For progression in recovery to occur, the capacity for self-care and soothing needs to be established. The ability to create a modicum of predictability and self-protection are also necessary. Developing these life skills may entail the incorporation of medication management, relaxation techniques, bodywork, creative outlets, and establishing a replenishing home environment and a responsibility toward basic health needs.

Traumatic losses also require a bereavement process. The survivor must fully face what was done, and what the traumas led the survivor to do under extreme circumstances. The survivor is challenged to mourn the loss of one’s integrity, the loss of trust, the capacity to love, and the belief in a ‘good enough’ parent.

The survivor now has the ego strength to face the profound level of despair that would have shattered her in childhood. Through the mourning process, the survivor begins to reevaluate her identity as a ‘bad’ person, and in so doing begins to feel worthy of relationships that allow for authenticity and nourishment. Eventually the survivor experiences the traumatic experience as a part of the past, and is ready to rebuild her life in the present. The future now offers possibility and hope.

Supporting Survivors of Trauma

“Being able to say that one is a survivor is an accomplishment,” Jungian analyst Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes wrote. “For many, the power is in the name itself. And yet comes a time in the individuation process when the threat or trauma is significantly past. Then is the time to go to the next stage after survivorship, to healing and thriving” (Estés CP. Women who run with the Wolves: Myths and stories of the wild woman archetype. New York: Ballantine Books; 1992).

At this stage, the trauma survivor is ready to move beyond survival to express freed up potentials. Engaging more actively in the world requires the survivor to identify and pursue ambitions and goals that were previously dormant.

She is now able to connect beyond the wounded self/ego and engage in life from a place of Divine creativity. She is ready to love beyond the personality and extend herself through empathy and service. Rather than struggle with resisting loneliness, fear, powerlessness, and myriad forms of suffering, she is open to and accepting of all that life contains. She is aware that the lessons toward growth are many.

Much of the reparative work at this stage of recovery involves challenging nihilistic and fatalistic assumptions about the self and the world. The trauma survivor intent on thriving is challenged to give life to a perspective, a philosophy that goes against her internalized beliefs, and to reconstruct a reality that makes room for the existence of faith and hope. For this to occur the ego must attach to the abstract for a deeper transcendent meaning.

Creativity, spiritual belief systems, philosophy, mythology, ethics, service, personal integrity, are all part of this exploration. This process of exploration lends itself to the survivor discovering a spiritual perspective that is sustaining and affords connection to others.

Integral to this spiritual perspective is the journey towards healing and actualization. This journey has taken on a deeply complex metaphysical meaning, and it informs one’s sense of pride and purpose. It is a journey toward wholeness, where the Divine Child archetype is encountered. Embodied in this archetype is the totality of our being and the transformational power that propels us along the path of personal growth. It is here that one discovers one’s true Self.

Photo courtesy of Lance Neilson on flickr

 

Healing the Traumatized Child

Rev Sheri Heller, LCSW

Rev. Sheri Heller, LCSW, is a seasoned NYC psychotherapist with 25+ years experience in the addiction and mental health fields. Sheri is also an interfaith minister and playwright, and the founder of The Sistah Tribe - Phoenix Project, a therapeutic theater event for at-risk women and girls in the public sector of NYC. For more information, visit www.sheritherapist.com

 

APA Reference
Heller, R. (2015). Healing the Traumatized Child. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 11, 2018, from https://pro.psychcentral.com/healing-the-traumatized-child/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 27 Jan 2015
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 27 Jan 2015
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.