By slowing down and being open and honest with my feelings, I concluded I needed to release the stimulus that I have no control over that stimulates the impatient response and find a way to defuse it and redirect my focus. Other areas that need to be worked on include:
• use of more forgiveness and grace towards myself and others
• find a central life balance of control
• become conscious of my impatience and learn skills to monitor and redirect behavior
• deal with the simple fact I do not need a instant response to every issue but rather find that time can be an ally versus always suggesting it is my enemy.
My replacement techniques needed to be ways of modifying my behavior to support my healthy life generating thoughts and behaviors. My four main circles around life generating behavior of patience were: (1) sleep better; (2) reduce stress; (3) form deeper relationships; and (4) have positive outlook towards life.
On the sleeping better came uplifting consequences such as more energy, more drive to improve life skills and improve my health.
The more rested I am, the more relaxed and self-control becomes easier, which leads to peace within. With an improved outlook towards life, I am more attuned to the positive aspects and adaptable to positive changes that can allow me to enjoy moments in life and create some tranquility.
Another important aspect is to give up what one cannot control or influence to a higher power. Learn to be able to deal with what you can control and allow the other aspects to be taken away through the use of spiritual tranquility.
It’s not to say not to be actively involved in creating solutions but rather than internalizing, remind oneself of all the external locus of control.
Reducing stress not only has physical benefits but psychological as well. Lastly, reducing the level of impatience lowers internal stress. Flowing out can be forgiveness, grace and simple joy towards not only others but myself.
Osman Abraham in an article entitled “How to Be More Patient & in Control of Your Life” at the Code of Living website suggests six life changing aspects of your life that can reduce impatience and allow you to be in more control of your life. The goal, Osman states, is to become a more patient, easy going person:
• Understand And Counteract Your Triggers
Impatience is something that is triggered. Once you understand what your trigger is, you can work on counteracting it by doing calming exercises or techniques whenever you feel the trigger building up
• Build Self-Confidence
Impatience usually appears when one feels let down, when you don’t feel in control or perhaps feel that your hands are tied. You want something to happen now, but you cannot seem to do anything to speed things up.
A person with a high level of confidence will accept the situation as it is; they will not fight it or rail against it. Rather, they will work with it. To become more patient, realize that patience and confidence go hand in hand.
• Put On Your “Positive” Glasses
Patience is all about perspective and how you look at situations. Try to put a positive spin on everything you do. You will find that you will not just reduce tension but you`ll become a much happier person.
• Change Your Attitude
Most people struggling with patience can never answer this question.
“Why are you in such a hurry?”
Realize the fact that even if something happens a few seconds or even minutes late, nothing will happen. The task will still get done and everything will still work out. Try to keep an open perspective and don’t give yourself useless stress.
Try to be a step ahead of the game. Visualize yourself facing the problem before it happens and set goals for how you are going to react.
• Periodically Release Tension and Stress
Impatience is the blowing up of a stored buildup of stress and anxiety. Therefore, try throughout your day to release stress and clean your system. You can try things such as the following:
• Breathing Exercises
• Stress balls
• 10 Minute Yoga Sessions
Whoever stated that patience is a virtue must have realized how long it took to get there.
I remember when I was in my thirties and I wondered what it would be like when I reached my fifties. Little did I know the enormous changes that would occur and the conflicts and depth of soul searching would be affected.
Patience needs to become my friend not only in my current and future career move, but in simple day to day behaviors to ease the stress and anxiety that can be accumulated. I believe what I have gone through will be looked upon in the future as a huge learning curve that affects me both currently and in the future.
As George Savile once stated:
“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else”.
Impatient guy photo available from Shutterstock