To find yourself, think for yourself. – Socrates

Here are some guidelines for surviving a narcissistic relationship.  It is very simple, actually.  The hard part is walking through the perceived land mines created in your own mind.  If you do nothing else, remember the following five ideas:


  1. Your biggest imprisoner is your own belief system.In other words, it’s not the narcissist that keeps you captive, it’s what you believe about your narcissist, your options, and yourself.
  2. Give yourself permission.The reason you can’t leave, talk back to, set boundaries, move, get a different job, you name it, is because you haven’t given yourself permission to do it yet. It is helpful to remind yourself that this one idea you’re holding on to is not your last best hope.
  3. Be your own hero.This means, stop expecting the other person to change. Simply change yourself. Rescue yourself. Be good to yourself. Instead of fantasizing about “if onlies,” take matters in to your own hands and empower yourself to make the changes necessary for you to have a good life.
  4. Live one day at a time.Do not “future trip,” “horriblize,” or make every decision a crisis. Simply “take the next indicated step” in your life and make each choice presented the healthy one.
  5. Never let a narcissist define you.Is there really any more to explain regarding this concept?

While the steps needed to heal from narcissistic abuse are simple, doing them will be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Do not underestimate the power of a narcissistic relationship and how life-defining it can be.