4 Comments to
When a Narcissist Makes an Apology

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  1. My ex apologized for threats to my person and property and reputation.
    Sounded sincere and “I dont know why I did it” I was angry you she went on but the truth was – ( U didnt give me money and caught me out a whopping lie)
    Due to the severity of the threats I called the Police and she got a warning.
    Next came extorion attempt with blackmail and threats of harm from a 3rd party!

    In 8 months she never raised her voice at me. I now suspect she is MPD. I began to realise some of her words and decisions were fake or untruthful as i noticed her very accent would change and have a more northern scots twang…

  2. My profoundly narcissistic father never apologizes for anything unless he is so publicly exposed for whatever hurtful thing he has done that he feels the need to manipulate us with fake regret to hide his secret shame over what a total loser he really is. I cut my father and NPD sister off nearly 3 years ago, no contact with either one. Their apologies are as fake as their alleged emotions. I have seen their smirks and sneers even as they “apologize”. They continue to try to suck me back into a family relationship with every NPD trick in their book of plays – fake medical emergencies, some great new fortune to celebrate, some event or news story they claim I must share with them, or whatever. It no longer matters to me. They might as well talk to a brick wall as to attempt to manipulate me back into the fold.

  3. Thanks so much for sharing this post! It really helped me make sense of my ex-spouse’s “apologies” that were completely deprived of sincerity and empathy. I now post therapy dances to process the narcissistic abuse I’ve been through, and I hope you can check them out. My latest one is actually called “Decoding an Apology from a Narcissist”(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWbqLwkTZCs&t=2s) and is pretty consistent with your description here.

  4. Very refreshing to read this article. I was married for forty years to a man who I loved and trusted and who I believed felt the same about me. I found out he was having an affair ten years ago, but after a sincere and heartfelt apology and an assurance that it had never happened before and would definitely not happen again, I forgave him and took him back. Now I have found out that he had numerous affairs during the course of our marriage and made countless unwanted sexual advances to friends, relatives, neighbours; no-one told me at the time because they thought it was just them and didn’t want to upset me. He even took our, then teenage, children on a skiing holiday where a work colleague of his just happened to be staying. Both children witnessed his advances to this woman, but said nothing. I am now divorcing him. If only I had known and understood the signs of narcissism ten years ago, I would have been able to avoid much of the more recent misery and pain that this man has caused to me, our children and my family. So many signs were there, but I was convinced that it was in some way my fault and when things got to breaking point, he would do something loving and kind and apologise profusely. Looking back it’s hard to believe how stupid and gullible I was. I will never forgive him for what he’s done, but I am determined to rebuild my life. I thank God for my friends and family who have stood by me and supported me through the living nightmare that has been the last few months.


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