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8 thoughts on “When your Loved One Won’t Connect to you Emotionally

  • July 29, 2019 at 2:19 am
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    I said to myself before the third reading of the words in your article, “Please read these words with wisdom and the truth of reality in your heart.” You, Sharie Stienes, have exactly described the experience of my twenty nine year relationship (with a four year separation and now back together) I don’t know what I will do now that I know what is missing (I’ve known a long time something is missing but didn’t know what it was) Thank you for helping me see. I am working with my therapist to lower my expectations after asking her to help me to learn how to implement emotional detachment in my relationship. Now I know why I feel so empty and desperate to manage my life and feelings Yes, bereft and lost myself in only my partner’s terms of engagement.Thank you for helping open my eyes, and am seeing my responsibility for my part in letting this happen to me.

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    • July 29, 2019 at 9:10 am
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      It’s covert and insidious and hard to realize that it is very damaging, until you live it and you finally discover the importance of connection in relationships.

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  • July 30, 2019 at 3:57 am
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    This article gave words to my feelings that I was looking for frm such a long time. Thank God! Now I know I was not crazy feeling empty in a relationship and asking for more connection. Thanks so much for sharing.

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    • August 3, 2019 at 2:22 am
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      You are not far away …I feel with you Riya. My hope is that you have counseling for support.

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  • July 30, 2019 at 3:38 pm
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    Concise and to the point! Well written.
    Yes the limbic system is wired for attunement to other and being with someone who is emotionally “somewhere else” can feel like a pseudo connection which only exasperates the growing divide of authentic connection that is felt within oneself.
    It can leave a person doubting themselves and feeling unreal because self definition is often in relation and relative to other. My current relationship echoes these dynamics.
    Thank you for writing this article.

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    • August 3, 2019 at 2:43 am
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      Rosemary, the absence of emotional connection is what is happening to you as you have described. Accepting the reality that it is not available is really really hard. Some people are just not capable of meeting on an emotional level ….being there with you and for you. What you feel and experience is real. What you you feel and experience is real!!! I so hope you find support, acknowledgement, and comfort for your pain.

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  • August 3, 2019 at 5:24 am
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    Sounds exactly like the relationship i just left with my boyfriend of 5 years. I couldn’t deal with the sadness and constantly feeling that I didn’t matter. I was so lost but im healing now slowly.

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  • August 11, 2019 at 2:36 pm
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    Shari,
    Once again, you have this God-given ability to see and express the exact issue that’s dogged my 49 year marriage, besides emotional abuse. God help me act before it’s too late.
    Ben

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