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4 thoughts on “Recognizing and Changing an Abusive Relationship

  • August 13, 2016 at 6:47 am
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    Thank you for the article. It is very useful. I was needy at the moment. Especially the end of the article where it was pointed out that to cure abuser we should not focus on his feelings, to pity him. her. True recovery is when he focuses on the feelings of others. The other important point was that abuser is always in control, he never is rude. He always is “right”. This is the sign. Especially if you are unhappy with that person and often crazy.

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  • August 17, 2016 at 7:46 am
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    While I recognize that the majority of abusers are male, the exclusive language in this article that always refers to the abuser as “he” and the victim as “she” doesn’t take into account that some women are abusers too. Also, in the case of same-sex relationships, abuser and victim would both be “he” or “she”.

    I really like the article and the information it imparts–thank you!

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    • August 17, 2016 at 12:20 pm
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      Yes, I tend to use the pronoun, “He” more often when talking about abusers. I have seen that abuse goes both ways, however. An abusive person is not abusive because of his or her gender. He or she is abusive because it is his or her strategy to protect a fragile and fragmented inner self. It is a deeply ingrained survival strategy, and can be used by either gender.

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  • August 17, 2016 at 8:16 am
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    That article really hit home for me. You put it in a nut shell just the way I have been treated for the past 9 years. WOW.

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