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7 thoughts on “Coping with Covert Abuse

  • October 25, 2016 at 1:53 pm
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    Very interesting post. I especially like your acknowledgment that recovery can be lonely, as it’s difficult to articulate what has happened in ways that help others understand. I wonder what the best ways are to help children who may be experiencing covert abuse.

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  • October 25, 2016 at 7:30 pm
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    Perth Western Australia
    Thank you for your article recognising subtle forms of abuse. Awareness of it happening and strong self esteem is sound advice. May I offer another empowering option? It is to connect to the resource of unconditional love that is often ignored, living within each person’s heart. Religion (with a God to be worshipped as external to our being) has robbed us of considering this consoling, strengthening and clear support of the Greater Self that lives in the heart as the Spirit Within. I am an author and spiritual mentor(age 77). My first book, God’s Callgirl, is an account of life choices based on abuse. My latest book, Healing from Abuse a Practical Spiritual Guide, gently and gradually introduces a person to connect with the most powerful resource in the Universe: Unconditional Love. Finding it, feeling it and trusting it is part of the journey. I hope it’s OK for me to mention this here. Thank you for your work. I look forward to receiving more news from you. Carla

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    • July 30, 2018 at 8:21 pm
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      I would like to thank you for the use of the term “unconditional love” as the most powerful tool for healing. My husband was SEVERELY abused from a small child all the way until his mother’s passing, 35 years. The amazing part is he truly is AN AMAZING MAN. He has finally accepted my unconditional love almost 11 years later, and we have been making so much headway. Therapy can be frightening and intimidating for a covert incest victim, especially a male, especially when they can appear as a well-rounded person to almost everyone they come in contact with. I am his wife; I became his victim. But with patience, love, and understanding, we are both on a journey to recovery. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS ABSOLUTELY THE MOST NECESSARY KEY TO HEALING. God bless, you.

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  • October 29, 2016 at 11:13 am
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    It’s important to note that much of the abuses women have suffered in recent decade are due to covert traumatic mind control methods, etc, such as being verbally abused, interrogated, drugged,and gaslighted, even hypnotized with triggers. For those who choose to keep this quiet? Accept anger; it’s abuse, not “mental illness” and your silence is the final blow. This is never their fault and can take years to get out of without a friend’s help. I agree with Perth that awareness is needed and self esteem will always need to be rebuilt as the ego was to destroy you, but my God didn’t allow it.

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  • October 29, 2016 at 11:15 am
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    Thank you for the information

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  • January 9, 2017 at 4:38 am
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    Thank you so much for all of the information which you have provided on covert abuse. I have been the victim of such during the past 6 months by someone who is seemingly above reproach. He holds a position of authority, and has managed to deceive many…………………..fortunately, I can walk away from him, but at the loss of the friendships of others within our particular community. One friend understands………………..no-one else would; but the sad thing is that despite, his recent “marriage”, following the breakup of his marriage, and having 3 teenage sons who have been damaged by this, I can see his lustful behaviour continuing. I am sure that the mind-control and emotional garbage with sexual overtures will exhibit itself while we happily lull the group with our very regimented organizational abilities, and “cliques” designed to ‘divide and conquer’. You have helped me immensely with your article and the lady who mentioned spirituality is right………………it is only my faith and trust in Almighty God that has given m the courage to see this through. Many thanks again.

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  • December 8, 2018 at 11:38 am
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    Thanks for this article and explanation. I knew I experienced covert abuse, but at 73, today was the first time it occurred to me to explore what it is!!! I think this is an explanation for my need to tell other people about negative experiences, over and over, just to get validation that the experience is indeed what I perceived it to be. Wow!

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