The Recovery Expert
with Sharie Stines, Psy.D.


Healing from Rejection

Have you ever been rejected by someone important in your life? Perhaps you’ve been betrayed by a loved one, discarded by a narcissist, cheated on by a spouse, fired from a job, or left by someone you cared about with no explanation given.

Experiencing the sting of rejection is very difficult to come back from, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bounce back from it. In fact, I contend that you can be even more confident...


Holidays are so much better without the silent treatment

After spending years and years with a relative, spouse, or otherwise “loved one,” walking on eggshells, or feeling the sting of being ignored, it becomes very emancipating indeed to have silent-treatment free holidays! There is nothing quite so liberating as getting away from people who don’t value you enough to talk to you.

Some toxic relatives are so obvious with their public shunning that they will go up to someone standing right next to you and...


Emotional Abuse and Threats of Abandonment

I don’t hear much about this type of abuse. Threats of abandonment are a form of emotional manipulation that uses a person’s fear as a weapon.

I know a woman who shared the following story with me. She was trying to explain the problems she experienced in her marriage with her husband at the time.  I will use her words to tell you her experience:

“One night my husband and I were arguing about something, I’m not...


Why Victims of Abuse Stay with Their Abusive, Narcissistic, or Borderline Partner and What to do About It

So many people do not understand why victims of abuse remain with their partners even after being terribly abused by them. Many people believe a few myths regarding victims of abuse:

They are masochists
They like being abused
They are weak
They provoke the abuser in some way, contributing to the abuse
Victims are partially culpable for the abuse because they stay in the relationship

If you are the victim of abuse and you can’t figure...


Why is Couples Counseling Counter-Productive in Abusive Relationships?

Many people who find themselves married to an abuser tend to believe that marriage counseling is the solution.

A lot of these people believe that they have a relationship problem, such as communication or conflict resolution issues.  Everyone, including the counselor, fails to see that the problem with the relationship resides within the abuser.

The solution to the problem is the abuser’s to fix, and the partner’s job is to stop being responsible for the well-being of...


What Causes Attachment Based Parental Alienation in Narcissistic Relationships?

“It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take the bullet for, are the ones behind the trigger.”

What exactly is parental alienation in the context of a narcissistic relationship?

It is the dynamic that occurs when a child is manipulated by the narcissistic parent to reject the other, healthy and empathic parent.  It happens because the narcissistic parent uses a type of invisible coercion to convince the child that the other parent is no good. In essence,...


When a Victim of Abuse Experiences “Red Flags”

Have you ever wondered why victims of abuse stay in relationships with their abusers?  Is it because they’re codependent?  Is it because they’re masochistic?  Are they weak?  Are you in an abusive relationship? Do you wonder, “What is wrong with me that I stay in this crazy relationship?”

If you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship of any sort – physical, emotional, verbal, etc., think about any “red flags” you’ve noticed about...


The Myth of “It Takes Two to Ruin a Relationship”

I contend it only takes one…

Evidence shows that it only takes one person to ruin a relationship – one selfish person.

Now, I realize that everyone is selfish to one degree or another. The type of selfishness that ruins relationships is the one that freequently disregards the needs, wants, and desires of the other person.

It is the belief system of the offending partner that creates the unhealthy and untenable environment in the relationship that leads to...


When Your Spouse Cheats

If your intention is to stay with your spouse after infidelity, this article is not for you. This article provides guidance for those who want to leave their spouse once unfaithfulness has been discovered.

The betrayal of a spouse is one of the most heartbreaking of experiences. When you find out you have been lied to and cheated on, you are stunned, shocked, emotionally destroyed. You feel like you will never recover. You try to bargain...


Ten Rules Found in Narcissistic Homes

In a dysfunctional household there are some specific rules which are passed down from generation to generation. These rules are severe and uncompromising.  If you have been raised in a narcissistic family you may find that you have been raised with some, if not all, of the following rules:

Children are taught that someone must be blamed for the mistakes that occur. There needs to be a a healthy family, ownership is taught. Apologies and...