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The Recovery Expert
with Sharie Stines, Psy.D.

General

How to be thin

Thinness, just as fatness, is a lifestyle. In order to develop a thin lifestyle, it helps to develop thin habits.  This involves doing what thin people do and thinking like thin people think. If this is something you haven’t done before than it might be challenging, but not impossible. Old habits can be broken and new habits can be formed.

One reason so many people find it difficult to live thin is because of how they...

Abuse

Advice for Coping with Guilt Trips

Do you have someone in your life who frequently manages to cause you to feel guilty? When with this person, is he/she constantly implying that you are uncaring, thoughtless, and selfish?  Be aware that there are some people who are master manipulators and can take the biggest empath and cause him/her to feel like the greatest villain on earth.

If you have a relative, spouse, boss, or friend that seems to be continually “hurt” by your...

General

Love and the Narcissist

One thing you must realize when you love a narcissist is that your experience is one-sided, as he is incapable of either giving or receiving love.  This concept may be hard to grasp at first, but if you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist than this theory definitely explains a lot.

If love is not being exchanged in the relationship, then what is?  Anyone who’s ever researched the topic of narcissism has most likely...

Abuse

Abuse Recovery: Defining the Terms of Engagement

When involved with an abuser it it very common to get caught up in his or her "game" where you end up constantly responding and reacting to the madness, and you find yourself doing it automatically, without even thinking. Before you know it, you realize you are on the end of someone else's psychological yo-yo, going up and down with his or her moods.

You discover that you have been trained to constantly scan the emotional horizon of your loved one,...

General

Help! I’m a Stepmother!

Are you a stepmother? Or, perhaps you identify better with the term, "step monster."  Well, if you are, don't dismay, there is hope!  You can have a successful and fulfilling life, even in this difficult and unappreciated role.

There are no expectations quite so unfulfilled as those of the stepmother. When a woman falls in love with a man with children, she begins her journey hopeful, loving her relationship with the children, finding them enjoyable and adorable. ...

attachment

Stop the Madness: Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships

Do you find yourself wanting to fix, change, control, rescue, placate, or scream at someone close to you in your life?  Is your relationship with this person driving you crazy? Does it feel so true the adage, "you can't live with him and you can't live without him?"  Then you might be stuck in a toxic relationship.

Is it hopeless?  Never.  You can find hope and healing and the ability to stop living life on...

Abuse

Healing from Sexual Assault

“Resilience, rather than pathology should become the standard expectation in the aftermath of trauma.” –Aaron Levin

Are you a victim, parent, or in a counseling capacity, wondering how to help yourself or your loved one cope with the trauma and horror of sexual assault?  Whether the crime was child molestation, rape, sodomy or some other sordid type of sexual perversion inflicted upon you or your loved one, the aftereffects can be devastating.  Victims of sexual assault...

Abuse

Coping with Covert Abuse

Covert abuse is hard to identify because it isn’t as obvious as other types of abuse. It flies “under the radar” and is hard to detect. If your abuse happened in childhood it is even more insidious because your points of reference are limited.

Before proceeding, let’s define what covert abuse is.  Covert abuse includes any type of underhanded and deceitful behavior on the part of the abuser used to manipulate others in order to gain power...

Abuse

Are you the Designated Scapegoat?

When two people get married I don't think either one of them plans on becoming their partner's scapegoat. Most people assume that there will be both good times and bad times, and they will persevere through any problems together.  This is reasonable; after all, no one is perfect and life can have challenges at times.

However, all bets are off if you marry an abuser, master manipulator, or narcissist. When this happens you discover that rather than being a...

Abuse

Comparing Narcissism to Antisocial Personality Disorder

Do you ever wonder which personality disorder you are dealing with?  I find the following descriptions very useful in determining if you are coping with an antisocial personality or a person with narcissistic traits.  The following information is based on proposed diagnostic criteria according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition.
Before comparing antisocial and narcissist personality disorders, I would like to mention the general criteria for personality...