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The Recovery Expert
with Sharie Stines, Psy.D.

Abuse

What to Expect When you Marry a Narcissist

If you are planning to marry a narcissist, here is a list of things to expect in your relationship.  Realize that you will be marrying a person who is incapable of having a healthy, intimate, interpersonal relationship because narcissism is a characterological disorder. Your marriage will be the most important relationship in your life; be wise in who you select to commit to.  If you marry a narcissist you will be uniting with a person who does not...

Abuse

The Silent Treatment

At best the silent treatment is an immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulative individuals.  At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.  One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.  In fact, the silent treatment is the narcissist's favorite weapon.

Whether the person in your life is using the silent treatment immaturely or abusively, one thing is for sure, it is infuriating to receive; problems...

Abuse

The Narcissist’s Fan Club (aka Flying Monkeys)

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Isn't it enough that victims have to deal with the hurt and frustration caused merely by loving a narcissist?  To add insult to injury, narcissists in their lives have their own personal minions, appropriately labeled as "flying monkeys," who side with them and join their "team" and set out to participate in their damaging agenda to destroy the targets' lives.

Flying monkeys...

Abuse

How to Spot a Child Molester

How do you know when a person is safe for your child to be around?   Answer:  You really can never be 100% sure because pedophiles and other brands of child molesters are master manipulators; but, there are some clues that can be indicators that someone is not safe for your child.

Ways to identify a child molester:

They are more interested in talking to your child than they are in talking to you.
They tend to...

Abuse

Children with Attachment Based Narcissistic “Parental Alienation Syndrome”

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is the unhealthy coalition between a narcissistic parent and his or her children against the targeted, non-narcissistic, non-abusive parent.  The innocent or targeted parent receives hostility and rejection from his or her children in this system.  The psychological health of the children is used as arsenal in the narcissist’s twisted world.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is a family systems pathology involving the triangulation of children into the abusive, narcissistic parental relationship.  In the...

Abuse

Healing from an Addiction (to a Person, Behavior or Substance): Know the Psychological Set-ups for Relapse

What are some of the thoughts and personal self-defeating beliefs that contribute to relapse from addictions?  Here is an overview of some common pitfalls that addicts fall into, psychologically, which contribute to their inability to stay sober. If you are a person trying to overcome any type of addiction, then be aware that you are probably going to face the following mental sabotage strategies created in your mind.  I would like to thank, renowned relapse...

General

Two Words for Better Parenting

After raising six children, reading many parenting books and attending many parenting classes, I have learned to boil good parenting down to two important words:  (1) enjoy (2) reflect.

The best advice I can give parents today is to enjoy your children.  So often parents lose sight of the gift they have in their children, frequently getting caught up in the everydayness of school, chores, sports, that they forget to stop and look their children in...

Abuse

Why do narcissists need to think we’re bad?

Narcissists have the uncanny ability to make those closest to them feel defective and bad.  When in a close relationship with one, you will often feel like you have let him or her down in some huge way, “causing” him to feel extremely angry or extremely hurt or both.  The partner or child of the narcissist always ends up feeling as if he or she has somehow failed him – a belief the narcissist thrives...

Abuse

Healing from the Narcissistic Mother

Suzy recounts her journey through healing after the effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother.  As a child, Suzy thought she was bad and unworthy. She constantly feared rejection and felt hurt and worthless most of the time. She had no idea that something was wrong with her mother and that her problems were not her fault.

She began a healing journey that involved therapy, education, journaling, relationships with affirming people, and detachment from her...

counseling

How to fix another person

Do you know people who believe that to help you means to fix you?  Are you one of those people?  In order to want to “fix” someone, we have to believe something is broken, and it’s very difficult to do this without believing that someone is flawed.  When you approach someone with solicitations of help, are you operating out of a misguided attempt to fix them?  If so, you will most likely bring...