So often we think of abuse as something that happens to us, but have you ever thought about what it means to a person who suffers from the abuse of omission? Emotional abuse can be so deceptive, that most of the time, people who are victims have no idea they are being abused. One way to analyze your situation to determine if you are being emotionally abused is to consider, rather than what the other person is doing, is what the effects are on you. What may be hurting you may not be overt, but rather covert; you may not suffer from anything you can put your finger on because your abuser may be hurting you by what he’s not doing.
Here are some things to consider: Do you find yourself being confused within this relationship? Do you analyze yourself or an argument with this person to determine where you went wrong or what you could have done differently? Do you find yourself blaming yourself for the things that go wrong in the relationship? Do you find yourself accepting fewer and fewer “crumbs” from this person as time goes on, being grateful for any small comment or gesture that feels validating? Do you feel like an emotional wreck? Do you feel desperate or in despair? Do you read lots of articles, blogs, and books looking for ways to improve your relationship? Have you lost trust in your own perceptions? Other symptoms of emotional or covert abuse include feelings of rage, low self-esteem, anxiety, preoccupation with the relationship, obsessive need to fix it, feelings of guilt and shame, despair and loss of hope, increased addictions, loss of weight, or somatic symptoms.