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Snakes and Courageous Conversations

snakes and courageous conversations

“Snake looks scary for us and we look scary for the snake! Always try to see yourself from the eyes of others!”
Mehmet Murat ildan

It was a balmy early summer night. The sporadic flicker from the fireflies illuminated the dusky grey. I had just let my canine companions out to relieve both their curiosities and bladders. Max, an eight year old Apricot Golden Doodle enjoyed a good round of sniffing. In particular, he had engaged in a game of hide and seek with the small lizards that reside between our concrete patio pavers and my herb garden.

Lily, a six year old rescue Poodle-mix, stood on alert intently looking at her domain for the occasional squirrel or rabbit intruder. I settled into the moist cushion on a wicker chair and sipped my freshly steeped and iced mint tea.  This time of day was magical to me. It was the crease between dark and light where shadows mingle and vision is blurred.

I startled from my sleepy reflection by the frenzy of Lily’s movements. She darted across the lawn to the farthest point of the yard.  A visitor, perhaps, had invaded her lawn.  She lunged toward the fence and began a frantic barrage of growls and barks.

Max, only slightly distracted, resumed his lizard-chase.  Squinting I attempted to see what had captured Lily’s attention as she was practically frothing at the mouth.  I walked over to her and still could not discern the object of her obsession.

There was something in between the fences of our yard and our neighbor’s. It looked like a large black stick wedged between the fences. As I moved closer, I noted that the stick was slithering between the fences.  The black slippery flesh curled and coiled among the wooden planks and chain-link of the two yards. The barriers were designed to protect the inhabitants from harm.  There, inches from me and my frantic dog, was a six foot black rat snake.

I grabbed Lily dragging her protesting all the way into the house. I summonsed Max, coaxing him with a treat. I pocketed my cellphone, slid the sliding door shut behind me and made my way back to the reptilian visitor.  My heart pounded as I tiptoed through the wet grass back to the fence where the slithery serpent was now sniffing out her surroundings with the quick snap of her tongue.  She turned, her tongue flicking rapidly and her eyes fixed on me.

“Is she poisonous?” I wondered. “How do I get her out of my yard?  I don’t want to hurt her…but I don’t want her to hurt me or my dogs.  What on earth should I do?”

I snapped a couple of pictures with my phone (mostly for the sake of research). She moved slowly in a patient non-aggressive manner.  I followed her lead, deliberately keeping my movements small, slow and steady. She was curious but calm. Really quite beautiful in the rapidly rising moonlight. I was a bit frightened but in awe of her splendor.  I realized that both snake and human were trying to access safety in that moment.  She was wary of me… and I was certainly wary of her. Yet, we were both sharing space (albeit several yards apart) and attempting to communicate with one another.

Communion

Diane Butler Bass, in her book titled “Grounded: Finding God in the World-A Spiritual Revolution” wrote that we commune with others when “we pay attention to the barks and chirps, observing their wants and needs.”

Further, she reminded that we are in an interdependent relationship and mutually share resources with all living beings.  Martin Luther King noted that to be in communion is to recognize “our inescapable network of mutuality” the “interrelated structure of reality” in which we all live.

Therefore, there exists the realization that we need to learn to develop respectful understanding and compassion for all living (human and non-human) beings if we are to co-exist in this shared planet.

As counselors, we are charged to provide unbiased and compassionate care to all individuals, regardless of differences in values, beliefs, or lifestyles.

Compassion

According to Bass, compassion means “to endure with another grief, suffering, and experience.” The Charter for Compassion, an international community promoting global compassion, outlines “practices of nonviolence, respect, and appreciation that cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings-even those regarded as enemies”.

However, fear often impedes the first step in communication or the attempt at compassion. There are countless examples of fear-driven violence in the news that is perpetuated by ignorance.

I must admit, my first reaction to our reptilian visitor was to grab a shovel and pummel that snake. I was afraid!  However, she was not causing any harm.  She did not attack me or my dogs. She was blissfully enjoying the night. Had I succumbed to my fear, I would have missed out on the intimacy afforded by this creature and the night.

Courageous Conversations

All over the world, communities are daring to give voice to the fears and eradicate the ignorance. Most recently, I received a message from the Maryland Counseling Association(MCA) reminding counselors of our role in creating better communities by our client advocacy:

“May we all be courageous in our community work to exercise and protect independence for present and future generations of all walks of life.”

Thomas Berry, priest and eco-theologian, held a vision that cultivated conversations around these challenging questions. In his vision, Berry, crafted ten values laden with questions for conversation and consideration:

  1. Ecological Wisdom

How can we operate societies with the understanding that we are part of nature? How can we guarantee the rights of all human and non-human species?

  1. Grassroots Democracy

How can we develop systems that allow, encourage and ensure that representatives will be fully accountable to the persons who elected them?

  1. Personal and Social Responsibility

How can we respond to human suffering in ways that promote dignity?

  1. Non-violence

How can we, as a society, develop effective alternatives to our current patterns of violence?

  1. Decentralization

How can we restore power and responsibility to individuals, institutions and communities?

  1. Community-Based Economy

How can we develop new activities and institutions that use our technologies in ways that are humane, freeing, ecological, and responsive to communities?

  1. Postpatriarchal Values

How can we encourage people to care about persons outside their own group? How can we promote respectful, positive, and responsive relationships across the lines of gender and other divisions?

  1. Respect for Diversity

How can we honor cultural, ethnic, racial, sexual, religious and spiritual diversity within the context of individual responsibility to all beings?

  1. Global Responsibility

How can we promote sustainability globally?

  1. Future Focus

How can we encourage long-range visions versus short-term interest?

Snakes and Courageous Conversations

Cheryl Fisher, PhD.,NCC, LCPC

Dr. Fisher is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in private practice in Annapolis, Maryland. She is a visiting full-time faculty member at Loyola University Maryland in the Pastoral Counseling Department. Her current research examines sexuality and spirituality in young women with advanced breast cancer. She is currently working on a book titled, “Homegrown Psychotherapy: Scientifically-Based Organic Practices” of which this article is an excerpt. She may be contacted at cy.fisher@verizon.net.

 

APA Reference
Fisher, C. (2016). Snakes and Courageous Conversations. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 11, 2018, from https://pro.psychcentral.com/snakes-and-courageous-conversations/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 15 Aug 2016
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Aug 2016
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.